An 80s Comeback

Well, its officially been a zillion months since my last post. Much has happened...actually, I didn't even really think to read where I left off.

But I thought it was worth posting the most recent event, which is that Lev and I are done breastfeeding. Well, Lev isn't done. But I am done. And the milkmakers are done. It feels so strange to have my breasts shrink back to normalcy, a little worse for wear, but also just back to their old selves again. They really don't look that different, or hang lower, or any of the other false stereotypes that breastfeeding can lead to... It feels good to feel like me. And not a nursing mama.

One drawback to weaning is the hormonal rollercoaster that accompanies it. Great news! Its like the grand finale--after experiencing nothing but hormonal rollercoasters since the onset of pregnancy, I get to have one last hazzah of hormonal madness before I (hopefully) return to the life of mid-twenties ladyfriend.

I've been weeping, I've been raging, I've been collapsing... Hard to say if its passed, as I have already shed some tears and its not even 8am. By some miracle, Lev is sleeping in, and of course, due to the wonders of the universe, on such days as these I do not have the heavy eye-lids to allow me to also sleep in. Tomorrow I'll want to--yesterday I wanted to. But today, I'm spending this precious, quiet time here. Updating after so long.

I feel like what my goals were when I first started this blog are so different now. Intuitive childrearing? I don't even know what that means anymore. Really, that kind of mindset I think is great when you have an infant. But then they turn into a toddler. And everything that ever made sense goes out the window. Then again, I think it takes a certain kind of person and mindset to just go with the flow--do the insane things a toddler wants to do. Diaper an plush, 80's popple doll, put socks on it, and let it have its own share of the watermelon at snack time. But is that really my intuition at work?

Jared is back to work after the summer break, our Kombucha business is in full force (we have 80 gallons at our house at this moment--who needs some??), I've had to more or less put all of my other jobs/hobbies on hold as a result of lack of childcare and lack of hours in the day. So taking that matted, purple popple and giving it every ounce of attention that Lev thinks it deserves in order to A.) avoid Lev screaming and B.) keep him entertained for a few moments seems less like an instinct, and more like survival.

I'm waiting for Lev to wake up now. Waiting for my day to start--for he and I to take on the countless tasks that I have lined up in order to fulfill my duties as co-owner of a blossoming kombucha venture. But I'm trying to make it fun--going to a child friendly coffee shop to see if they're interested in our 'booch, but also staying to play a while. Driving across town to deliver a starter kit, but maybe taking a bike ride too.

Did I mention that Lev started talking? In tears, he will call out for me "Mama!" and for the popple "Pah-pul" and we'll sit together, Lev awash in watermelon juice, the popple in its sagging one-sie that reads "Grandma loves me", and their mama.