Its been some time since my last update, and with good reason! Summer began, J-daddy got out of work, we moved, Mirabel arrived from Vermont and J's mom from Japan. So its been nuts.
One thing that I've been up against recently is the old "let your baby cry themselves to sleep" routine. When I express my sentiments against this practice, I have noticed that some people react with an internal "well, she's just hysterical", while others share my feelings and make me feel pretty right on. J tends to think that my maternal instincts are "too strong", which is a load of shit as far as I'm concerned. I know he means well, but I also know that there is no way in hell I'm letting Lev cry it out just so I can watch action movies all night.
We're in Vermont visiting my family right now. A member of my best friend Meara just had a baby, and also has a three-year-old son. Today I had the chance to be in the same room with both of them, and it made me feel very acutely how fast children grow. Lev was once the size of this little newborn, but is far from being 3...however, he is on his way. He is on the brink of crawling, he is about to sprout his third tooth and today he called out "Mama" as I was leaving a room. What does this tell you? Lev is going to be a little boy in no time. He is going to grow, and change, and develop and evolve dramatically all in this amazingly short amount of time. So what's a few action movies compared to precious time soothing my child to sleep?
I now understand that it is all about your additude. You can take the same scenario and see it either as a problem or as a night-time routine. Take Mom A for example:
"He justs wants me to hold him and nurse him until he falls asleep. I find myself just laying there and wishing that it would just end already! I can't stand how he depends on me and forces me to make him comfortable, while all I want is to relax after a long day!"
And then we have Mom B:
"Every night at bedtime, I lay down with my baby and nurse him until he falls alseep. Sometimes it takes an hour, sometimes it takes ten minutes, but I know that eventually he will drift off and then I can spend the rest of the evening doing what I want to do. It is sometimes hard knowing that I am the only one who can help him fall asleep, but I know that this is only temporary."
So there you have it. I don't want to be too judgy to all those Mom A's out there. I have it easy compared to some women; I don't have to go to work in the morning and I have the luxury of a caring partner. However, just because I nurse him to sleep doesn't mean he has a problem. Or, if I am willing to spend the time doing this, it doesn't mean I am hysterical.
Just wanted to clear that up.
