Baby doctor don't know shit

During the early days (read: oh say, maybe two months ago), I read this wonderful book called Attachment Parenting. Its a so called "style" of parenting that is coined thus because of the tendency of these parents to wear their children in carriers instead of hauling them around in strollers or car seats. This book covered the "Seven B's" of attachment parenting which are:

1. Birth Bonding (this is where you don't let the doctors take your baby away to a nursery and instead let your baby nurse, sleep and feel you skin-to-skin. Hugely important.)
2. Breastfeeding (instead of bottle feeding)
3. Baby wearing (instead of transporting from one plastic bucket to another)
4. Bedding close to your baby (instead of putting them in a crib on the other side of the house far, far away from you)
5. Belief in the language value of your baby's cry (as opposed to letting them "cry it out")
6. Beware of baby trainers (people who want to encourage you to put you new infant on a schedule instead of letting them naturally come to their own schedule. For example: feeding your baby on a schedule instead of waiting for them to let you know they're hungry)
7. Balance (It is what it is...balancing your life and your needs with the high demands of a baby. Totally crucial, however, it can happen without totally reducing the value of your child in your life to a mere house plant)

One of the best things about this book is that for every area it covered, it quoted parents and their experiences. It also brought anthropological research and scientific evidence to support the validity of these parenting values. One section that was especially interesting to me was on breast feeding and the relationship with the pediatrician. A common misconception and support of putting your child on a schedule is that you can over breastfeed your baby. Furthermore, there have been claims that you could even give your child an eating disorder by feeding them "on demand" instead of every 2 to 3 or 4 hours. (On demand means: whenever the child is hungry.) I read these accounts from other mothers about their rough experiences with their doctors. They felt as though they were being talked down to, ostracized and their mothering instincts were not valued at all. I remember thinking "thank god that doesn't happen at my pediatrician's". How wrong I was!

The point of all this is that we are royally switching pediatricians. Our Dr seemed totally rad and wonderful--so good with Lev, so caring and helpful. However... over time, I've come to realize that I don't like being around him and I certainly don't like how he talks to us about parenting and making choices for our son. He is most blatantly an asshole when talking about vaccines, but that can be expected. However, when he asked me how often Lev was feeding I laughed and said "all the time". I tried to give him a rough estimate--once an hour? twice? Its really hard to even say because every day is different--how much Lev eats depends on a variety of things. He has started teething, so he eats more. He had a cold, so he eats more. Surprise! He had a growth spurt, so he eats more. Or, conversely, he had a growth spurt and so he was sleeping more often and for longer than he had been. Plus, I'm usually running around like a crazy woman with no schedule of my own which means he certainly has no schedule either...

So I mumble some of this, realizing that he is just listening and staring blank faced at me. ( This is, incidentally, some time after we've weighed Lev--he is a healthy and beautiful 18 pounds 6 oz. ) The Dr begins lecturing us about how we need to offer him other ways of dealing with his feelings other than nursing. He added, that in fact, we are interrupting an important process of coping skills by nursing him when he is upset. We should instead sing to him, bounce him, talk to him etc. He said with a laugh that if we weren't careful Lev would end up like him "eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's every time he gets upset"... I said, "But he is so little!" meaning that he is 4 months old and not eating his cares away. The Dr's response was "Look at him!" meaning, he isn't so little--take a look at that chunky boy.

He basically insinuated that I am emotionally stunting Lev, giving an eating disorder, that I am over feeding him and that I need to regulate his eating instead of feeding him when he is hungry. The entire exchange was totally ridiculous--I got really defensive about the whole thing. He shut up about it once I explained that I'm not force feeding him--we look at each situation and decide what is best for Lev, whether it be nursing, singing or whatever the hell else he might need. If there is anyone who knows when to feed their child and how to help them through their feelings its the goddamn mother! Not to mention its basically impossible to over breastfeed--I only produce enough for him and my milk production is based solely on his needs. That's the beauty of the relationship between a mother and her baby--nature figured it all out for us.

I was pretty riled up about all this--now I've calmed down and moved on. I do need a new pediatrician however...