Every person has ritual in their life to some degree or another. This ritual enhances their lives, gives more meaning to the little things and enriches the waking moment to a point of higher enlightened consciousness. Right, this ritual for me starts when I wake up and ends once I've downed my last cup of tea. Let me digress.
Lev and I have restless nights, he wakes up, I wake up, we nurse and fall back to sleep. Sometime later, he wakes up again, I wake up, we wrestle with the nipple for a while and then fall asleep. This means I do not have a solid 8 hours, I probably don't even have a solid 4 hours. However, I've accepted this and do my best to compensate by sleeping in as long as I can. This means, probably, until 8:30-9:00am. There is nothing shameful about this.
Upon waking, Lev and I start our morning conversation, which basically is the same conversation every time. A series of coos and gurgles; I'll sing the baby song and he will do his best to be totally adorable and amaze me with his smiles and squeals. I change him, he waves his hands in the air, Luba lies by the heater. Its a slow and easy time that allows me to wake up to the day, greeted by my son's energy and enthusiasm for being naked from the waist down.
Sometimes he pees on me. Sometimes he pukes on me. Sometimes I leave him on the changing table in a spot of sunlight and he squirms, while I take care of some of my own needs--primarily, peeing, drinking a cup of water, and beginning the long process of checking my email. After I've dressed him again, we settle down into the rocking chair to nurse. Lev grins at me with his mouth full, looks at the bookshelf behind us, and makes beautiful little sounds as he nurses his face off. Finally falling asleep, I lay him down and begin the second part of this ritual: breakfast.
I've managed to get my timing down pretty perfectly--the toast, tea and eggs will all be hot and ready at the same time; this means a lot to me and I don't care who knows it. This is how I like every day to begin. Maybe I'll read from a novel while I eat, maybe I'll make some notes to myself... really, the ritual is about my independence from the world and from my baby. Lev is totally content asleep, Jared is at work, and I am alone with my tea and toast--I don't rush it, I savor every second. I have tried to find ways to draw it out as long as possible, but really, this ritual makes its own time frame and I enjoy it while it lasts.
Once its over, I know Lev will wake up and I'll begin to shift my thinking and my energy towards the activities of the day (even if on this particular day, I plan on doing laundry and reading novels).
***
Even before I had a baby, it was virtually impossible to wake me up in the morning. Today, Jared woke me up as he was leaving for work because I was supposed to bring my car to get the battery replaced. I knew this was coming, but I also knew that I resented the very idea of getting up before I was ready. My morning ritual cannot be rushed--it either happens or it doesn't. That said, my ritual with Lev is also incredibly important, and when it is rushed, I know that he and I will have a rough day. Jared lovingly began waking me up. I could hear he was doing his best to try and be sweet about all this, knowing that I was going to resist.
"Honey--*kiss, kiss*---Darling--*rub, rub*--its time to wake up now".
"Stop being an asshole!"
"Amanda--I know you don't want to do this, but you have to. Come on honey..."
"Get out of here! Go away!"
Lev starts to stir, and I feel my hysteria growing... Jared starts feeling defensive, I start waking up more than I want to... We agree that Jared will set an alarm for me and I start to fall back asleep as I hear the front door slam. Within seconds, the alarm has gone off. Literally, seconds.
Thanks, Jared. Always looking out for me.
Hear this! Making a new mom wake up in the morning is basically the worst idea you've thought of. This situation was made worse, when I received the call saying that actually, I didn't have to bring the car in until after 12. Now, I'm awake, but surly. I've drank more tea than I should, and my heart is pounding. Lev is still asleep and its snowing. I feel as though a recipe for disaster has been thrown together and I'm not sure how to avoid it. This is what my morning ritual saves me from: myself.
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